Fluttering fingers flaked away bits of faded tile
Snow White lips whisper white lies of “Ok” My bestfriend bumbles about with the existentialism of birth And we were safe Not comfortable but safe We would never hurt one another so our greatest safety was from our own minds
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Today you told me that it was too hard to hear from me often
I get it, I swear I get it But it's hard for me to not hear from you often I have said this, written this, screamed this a million times that it has become dysphoric I miss you I honestly think sometimes I overestimate our mess of a relationship That maybe you don’t love me as much as I love you Maybe this is just a rant about how much it hurts that you’re gone, maybe it’s just an excuse to be sad in this month of hell But you're being gone breaks my heart more than you could ever being here But I love you and I hope that much is clear I hope this isn’t goodbye, because I hope to see you soon dear I never ask for help
I never let you past skin deep facade If I find the way would you walk it with me I'm the only one keeping the peace I am falling to pieces Porcelain and tears and bloody noses and remorse
Bulimia is eating me inside out taking it's time gnawing through ulcers and torn flesh All I have anymore is my porcelain palace in which I am banished to like rapunzel in her tower Tears streaming down my face because I am withering away without the hope of a flat stomach Bloody noses because I am deficient in almost everything you can receive from food because we all know that isn’t in there Remorse because I know that he will hate me eventually and the bulimia I can control, I can’t control if he loves me anymore |
AuthorThis is my daily poetry practice for my intro to creativity class. Archives
March 2018
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