The best part of everything is the fall We dove into our love for each other We were simply 3 teenagers helping each other go insane And the walls came tumbling down We all know that nobody outside the three of us will never understand And truthfully I don’t even think that we do Summer nights shaking on the street her from blue demons in her nostril And me because i'm so cold I emanate such Two of them crying inside a janitor’s closet because the third found her way out of this world Relapsing into old habits of broken fingernails and cuts on thighs But we never have to go there again Cast into a universe we can’t understand It’s only fair that we find our own looks into the beyond And if we’re insane, fuck it we’re insane At least the three of us are insane together inspired by eyedea's the walls came tumbling down
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She asked me how I was doing
I am falling apart My seams are stretched to their absolute limit My stomach feels full of rocks I cancel every plan last minute Most of my family is dead I’m scared that soon enough they’ll all be gone “I’m fine” I say with a smile I know you
I know when you’re falling apart and I know when you're happy I know when you're lying because you're terrible at it So just don’t lie to me If you don’t want me anymore I’m not going to force you to love me Because I know I can’t I’m no going to make you feel bad about it If you're not in love with me I can’t make it so But I can tell you that I love you more than anything You are the moon and stars in the sky You are the world to me I love you isn’t enough to tell you what you mean to me Because I know you And to know you is to love you. Jocelyn FloresI know you're out there somewhere
Leaving me out thinking about the times we used to share I'll be feelin pain just to hold on Just to hold on I can't trust you I can love you With a mess of indecisive tears rolling down my cheek I know you keep me holding on because you can't let go Well I have to let you know I know you Your nervous finger twitch the way you laugh for real and for fake Because you think that I wouldn't want to know that you're playing with a slip knot In this year I've lost family to shots of whiskey and a shotgun In this the stress has me fucked up I'll be feeling pain just to hold on I know you're out there somewhere out there I've been trapped in my mind though I've been praying that you don't kill yourself I feel like I'm your morphine and my relief doesn't last You been feelin pain just to hold on. Fluttering fingers flaked away bits of faded tile
Snow White lips whisper white lies of “Ok” My bestfriend bumbles about with the existentialism of birth And we were safe Not comfortable but safe We would never hurt one another so our greatest safety was from our own minds Today you told me that it was too hard to hear from me often
I get it, I swear I get it But it's hard for me to not hear from you often I have said this, written this, screamed this a million times that it has become dysphoric I miss you I honestly think sometimes I overestimate our mess of a relationship That maybe you don’t love me as much as I love you Maybe this is just a rant about how much it hurts that you’re gone, maybe it’s just an excuse to be sad in this month of hell But you're being gone breaks my heart more than you could ever being here But I love you and I hope that much is clear I hope this isn’t goodbye, because I hope to see you soon dear I never ask for help
I never let you past skin deep facade If I find the way would you walk it with me I'm the only one keeping the peace I am falling to pieces Porcelain and tears and bloody noses and remorse
Bulimia is eating me inside out taking it's time gnawing through ulcers and torn flesh All I have anymore is my porcelain palace in which I am banished to like rapunzel in her tower Tears streaming down my face because I am withering away without the hope of a flat stomach Bloody noses because I am deficient in almost everything you can receive from food because we all know that isn’t in there Remorse because I know that he will hate me eventually and the bulimia I can control, I can’t control if he loves me anymore My bestfriend sings a song about her best friend in the hospital and it takes me a moment to realize she means me
The chords remind me that she cried for me amongst the faceless mass of our anonymous, all knowing town that is a face that knows you but you only barely recognise I call him first, before anyone else I call him because bless this boy he still loves me, he says this 12 times before I say goodbye, which he refuses simply with a see you soon It is simply complicated how much and in the ways I love these two people To an extent I could never tell them, to an extent I can write them this poem and tell them I love you more than I love you I am sorry more than I’m sorry You both kissed my nose and forgave me even as it was used as an accomplice in my addiction it was the artist that drew on a mirror with a razor blade with little white lines that looked too much like my waist at times He kissed my lips even though he knew that I had lied to him with the same exact ones He held my hand even though I had used the same ones to hurt myself, thus hurting him She told me she loved me even though I hurt her She held my shaking half seized body with hurt in her eyes but selflessness in her actions I held on because they loved me back in the same different continuum that is love I loved her like I loved music I loved him like I loved the setting sun Not more or less but differently I sent her to haze, I sent him to hell And he walked out of the flames with a bucket of water to extinguish my fire She walked out of the haze with a new song just for me It is my everything, these two beings not being my whole reason for life but being a part of it and making it worth living I don’t miss you anymore
I thought you were my world But he is my universe |
AuthorThis is my daily poetry practice for my intro to creativity class. Archives
March 2018
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